The Merry Christmassacre

Here is a light and easy to flesh out mini-scenario for a Christmas themed game. I am writing this for use with Lamentations of the Flame Princess. Everything here is a simple, abridged collection of ideas for you to build a scenario out of. This is not a large adventure, and it could even be a simple short encounter added in, or a one-shot in itself. Combine the below with these Christmas Traps and take elements of +Oli Palmer's Deck the Halls with Laser Fire and you have yourself a Merry Christmassacre.

The Hook

Deep in the frozen forests, snow has been falling thick and fast for days without any sign of relenting. Villagers have been disappearing while chopping for wood and the once happy and jovial Mr and Mrs Claus, who live in the forest, have not been seen in weeks. It is fast approaching Christmas Eve and the village has fallen to despair, they refuse to light the Christmas tree until the missing villagers are found.

The Horror

Mr Claus is Santa and Santa has cracked. Perhaps it was the pressure of hundreds of years of delivering gifts, working without a holiday for 365 days of the year and no union support. He's creating deadly presents and Elfinizing anyone who stands in his way using dark and twisted magic.

If they don't get elf-ed, then he feeds them to the reindeer... or Mrs Claus.

The Monsters

The Elves

Horrible, hunched-over, large nosed, bug-eyed little creatures. Their teeth are needle sharp and they are half the height of a human but what they lack in strength and charisma they make up for in swarming numbers and cunningly vicious intelligence. They rarely move alone and are loyal only to Santa Claus. Their hands are made for building intricate toys and most have sharp pointed nails to help them fish out fallen screws or cogs from floorboards. They have developed a taste for human torture since Santa went bonkers and delight in picking humans off from groups one by one, from the shadows. They are often given away though by their inability to stop themselves from giggling creepily to one another.

The Reindeer

Let loose by Rudolph the Gutripper, the Reindeer were once Santa's prized pets and cared for lovingly. Lately, Mrs Claus has been feeding them only scraps of flesh from children foolish enough to wander to close to the merry house near the workshop to keep the reindeer from turning on her and her neglectful husband.

Their breath hitting the cold air like the steam from a train, these reindeer fly and glide around the frozen grounds and through the frosty forests. They hammer victims into the ground with their hooves, gore them with great tinsel antlers and devour the flesh of their prey. Intestines dangle from their antlers like mock tinsel.

Rudolph the Gutripper

Rudolph is angry. Santa abandoned him and Mrs Claus has turned the other reindeer into monstrosities that cannot be stopped. Rudolph set the reindeer free from the stables in the hopes that they would flee from their captivity, except the other Reindeer had developed too much of a lust for blood. In an attempt to defy Santa and his madness, Rudolph attempted to kill them both. Now he is locked in the stables, tormented by elves and thirsty for freedom so he can enact his vengeance on his owners.

His special ""Gore The Bastards" ability allows him to bypass all AC for a successful hit once a day, they don't call him Gutripper for nothing.

Mrs Claus

Mrs. S. Claus was a wonderful woman, plump and joyous, and a love of animals and children. But, her husband working 365 days a year for thousands of years began to take its toll. She never had children and she grew too old, eternal life is a bitch when you age as well. She created the Elfinizer, a contraption that would turn human beings into magical worker elves in the hopes of helping her husbands workload but the humans and their petulant offspring demanded more and more until finally she broke down. The Elfinizer malfunctioned, turning humans into monstrous little beasts only loyal to them. Broken by when she had done, she fell into utter madness. Now, she is the only one with the key to destroying the Elfinizer... but she is a six foot tall barrel of a woman, with two handed rolling pin that seems to emit a strange cosmic energy.

She creates mince pies out of minced children and feeds them to her precious "Children", the elves, and ensures her husband is well stocked on warm beverages laced with alcohol.

Treat Mrs, Claus as a high-level Fighter, depending on your players levels make her difficult. She may be reasoned with, but is volatile and treats everyone like small children.

She holds the key to The Workshop. She always has Mrs. Claus Rolling Pin.

Santa Claus

Saint Nicholas, Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle. He went by all the those names. He used to bring laughter and smiles to the world. There was a warmth in Santa that spread out like tender fingers over the world and cupped it briefly for one night , keeping it safe from sorrow. 

That was until all the demanding little pricks of the world turned Christmas into Presents Day and screamed when their specific gift was not given. Ground down and hollowed out, Santa Claus watched his wife go insane and his reindeer become monsters. His elves turned into gremlins and Santa realised he just wanted it all to be over.

He is building the Elfinizer onto the back of his sleigh in the workshop and soon every human in the world will know what it is like to be over-worked. He'll turn them all into elves, then they'll see!

Santa is a high level magic user, with Polymorph and frost related spells. He is building the Elfinizer onto the sleigh to turn all humans into monster elves and creating deadly presents for anyone who isn't turned. 

The Locations

The Frozen Grounds

A wide expanse of solid ice which surrounds the Workshop and Grotto and is itself surrounded by forest. This is the main domain of the Reindeer. It is incredibly hard to walk on and desterity rolls will need to be made to get across the ice without falling over.

Roll a D6 for every character halfway across. There is a 1 in 6 chance they will break the ice and fall in.

If blood is spilled here it will attract the Reindeer.

Mrs. Claus will be feeding the Reindeer between 2am to 3am.

The North Forest

A mass of gargantuan Christmas trees filled with a thick fog. Throw in some Fog that Rests if you want to make it interesting. Wolves lurk here, but small packs of hunting elves keen on kidnapping children for Mrs Claus, or humans for Elfinizing also roam the woods.

Here the players can pick Mistletoe (See Magic Items below) if they make a Bushcraft or Search roll.

If blood is spilled here it will attract the Reindeer.

The Stables

A group of elves are torturing poor old Rudolph whose eyes and nose are aflame with rage. They will not notice the players unless they make a noise. If they notice the players they will attack. Rudolph is chained and will only assist the players if they promise to help him destroy Mrs Claus. If the players try to ride him, he will attack.

Santa's Humble Home

Near the workshop. This house has two rooms. The players can access it by knocking or breaking down the front door. There are warm lights on and the house appears to be made entirely of very thick gingerbread with delicious white icing lining the windows and the door. The roof appears to be made of tiles of sweet milk chocolate and the chimney emits a thick black smoke.

There are two rooms in the house. The Key to the Workshop is with Mrs. Claus in the house.

The Front Room

Mrs. Claus will be in the front room during the day. The front room is a living room and a kitchen combined with hundreds of fresh mince pies lined out on the counters. There is a slab of thick meat on the diner (this is the thigh of a child) and a jar of pickled eyeballs. There are muffins which have been made with eyeballs on top and one elf assists Mrs. Claus in making batter.

Mrs. Claus, depending on how the players approach, will try to adopt the players as children (either to cook or Elfinize) them. She holds the key to the workshop. Depending on your players, she may be able to be convinced that what she is doing is evil and may help.

If she is near Rudolph, nothing will stop him from killing her except his own death.

The Bedroom

There is a big double bed in this room. Mrs. Claus will be sleeping in this during the night, except when she goes to feed the reindeer. If she is woken in the night she will treat the players like burglars and attempt to kill them.

There is a secret door. If the players locate it with a search they will notice there is a trapdoor. This leads to a basement where some of the missing villagers are being held. Some have already been cut to pieces on a slab. The players can let the children and villagers out with the key they obtain in some way from Mrs. Claus.

The Workshop

There are three rooms in the workshop. The workshop is locked. The iron and solid oak main doors cannot be opened without a key. There is a hidden back-door which can be found with a search roll, this is locked but can be opened with Open Doors.

Main Floor

The main doors lead to the main floor has rows and rows of long tables filled with different toys all of them covered by dusty sheets. It looks as if this room has been neglected. A successful search roll or intelligence check will show that the dust settled indicates it has been a few weeks since the toys have been covered. Footprints in the dust recently lead to a staircase up to the roof. There are large sacks filled with toys all around. Perhaps throw in a Present Sack from the Christmas Traps.

Elves will be hiding and aiming to try and attack the players or scare them away.

The Backroom

Locked: Can only be opened with Mrs. Claus key. 

This room looks like it has been lived in. There is a red hat and large coat draped over the chair by a huge writing desk. This room has multiple blue-prints scattered around for The Elfinizer; it requires the heart of an innocent child, bones from a thief and a variety of other outlandishly difficult to obtain materials.

This room has a letter from Santa explaining his master plan if there is a successful search. Christmas letters from children can also be found in sacks here.

From 2am to 11am, Santa will be hunched over the desk working on the designs for terrifying toys and the Elfinizer. He will demand to know why the players have invaded his workshop and will attack after explaining his plans if the players cant convince him to give it up. He will not have The Elfinizer magic item.

Three elves will be hiding in the letter sacks.

The Roof

A winding staircase takes you to the roof of the Workshop from the workshop floor. On the roof are several elves helping Santa Claus load the slay with the Elfinizer, a large candy cane staff with a huge red glowing bauble on the end of it.

Santa will be here between 11am to 2am working on the sleigh and loading toys with the elves. He will demand to know why the players have invaded his workshop and will attack after explaining his plans if the players cant convince him to give it up. He will have the Elfinizer magic item.

The Magic Items

The Elfinizer

The Elfinizer is a candy cane staff with a huge red bauble dangling on the end. When pointed at an individual and channelled, this has a 3 out of 6 chance of changing someone into a weak worker elf (see Monsters above) with a taste for flesh. If this fails, this will cause the individual intense pain and they will take 1d8 damage. 

Mistletoe

Mistletoe can be put into food or rubbed on someone. They must make a Save vs Poison, or they will be devoted to the player for 1d20 minutes. Once the effects wear off, they will be aware they have been tricked.

Mrs Claus Rolling Pin

A two-handed melee weapon with 1d10 damage. The weapon is in the shape of a gigantic bloody rolling pin that can never be cleared of flour. 

Once per day, the holder of the rolling pin may cast "Minced Bye". If this attack hits, the rolling pin will cast Polymorph Others and turn the victim into a minced pie.

If the pie is eaten, it should have a strange or deadly effect.